Between the resurrection and Pentecost a couple things happened. Short version: Jesus walked among his followers much has he had before the resurrection. He ascended into heaven ten days before Pentecost. During this time between, his disciples waited. They knew Christ well. They knew, spoke and had lived with the complete Truth. And at their master's command, they waited.
Similarly, we hear Christ's call. We respond. And often, our time is spent in waiting. However, when our Pentecost comes, we lurch, often violently in the direction of who Christ spoke us to be in the time before sin.
I've written about Eric before. Eric was a priest and then a programmer and then a priest again. He gathered a wonderful family and many friends along the way. He eventually succumbed to ALS in February of 2011. The following brief homily was published in his church's bulletin on Feb 13th 2011. It is the last offering to us in this life, from Eric of what he had learned and at last embraced fully, unconditionally and even wildly. When Eric wrote this, he was almost completely paralyzed, in pain, could not hope to feed himself and could barely breathe. Please hold that in your mind as you read this.
Eric passed on Feb 14th.
(Eric references bible passages here that are not given. I think the context is nonetheless clear.)
The Old Testament lesson is from Deuteronomy and the words of Moses present the classic Old Testament idea that God will love you if you are good and will punish you if you are not. It is not that we would disagree with with it means to be good or bad, but the idea of God turning against us and we will perish if we did not do what is right seems quite a bit different from the God we see in Jesus. We have the benefit of a developing idea of God as seen in Jesus, whereas Moses only had the misty concept of Messiah.
In Psalm 119, we get the idea of being whole-heartedly committed to God. And if we are committed and do what is right we will be happy. Even though it seems to say that perfection is the only true way to true happiness, one gets the feeling that the writer thought that perfection is possible. It also implies that following God's ways, is the way to understand God's love. It does raise the question of what about those who are not perfect and who do not whole-heartedly follow God's ways? Can they experience God's love? One has to look hard in the Old Testament to find an expression of God's whole-hearted love for us all. It becomes a matter of faith as to what we believe about God's love for us.
Paul's letter to the church at Corinth is so rich. Paul seems to be saying that each of us, regardless of divisions and differences, is called to see our lives as God's work. God's initiative pulls us to grow in our lives as working with and for God. God's call and pull is not so that some will fail and some succeed but that God is calling each of us because God loves each of us. Our task, though seemingly simple, is life-changing. It is to put our trust in a God that loves us. Our brothers and sisters, just like the Corinthians, though not necessarily spiritiual people, are called to surrender their hearts to God. God will feed them, and us, in spiritual growth.
For me, it means living each day conscious of God's love. There were times in my life when God seemed far away. I felt unworthy and that any spiritual work was for my own benefit. I needed help and thought that I could make my life different. From that perspective, my prayer life seemed dry and infertile. Then, God spoke to me through Jesus. When I began to see that God was active in my life, my life did change. It is so different when you start from a belief that God loves you and is with you, just as you are. God does love us as we are. We need not become something else for God to love us. God gives me my worth and that is all that matters. Jesus redeemed me.
I found God in my life in a new way. I found God through Ruth, my wife. Her love and caring for me makes it clear to me that God's presence is in my life. In the Gospel, Jesus seems to be saying the way we love each other is much more important than just coming to the altar. Ruth and Robin, my daughter, and Mike, her husband, have changed their lives to bring God's love directly to me and make me aware that I am lovable and God is with me just as I am.
And with this new awareness of God's presence, my hospital bed became a gift of love, my speaking device became a give of love, my breathing assist became a gift of love. I am redeemed to see God in very concrete ways. Jesus, on the cross, means to me that God did come among us and took on our daily concrete lives, our sufferings and our joys, because God loves us.
Amen Eric.
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