DIY - Building an Idol - Part 1

For those of you who don't crawl the net in search of how-to info, DIY is an abbreviation for Do It Yourself.

I've written about idols before but I think it's time for a more practical treatment of the subject.

You've made the big decision.  You're not going to purchase, adopt or otherwise acquire someone else's idol.  You want an idol of you're own making.  That's very important to any DIY project, but particularly to idol creation.

So, on to Idol construction 101.  First, start with a yourself.  Answer these important questions:  1) What do you need an idol to do?  2) What form will your idol take?  3) Do you want other people to worship it too, or is it to be just about you?  (Although these days idols are primarily about ourselves, they can be a bit flexible with regard to who they accept worship from so it's OK, or maybe even festive, to let other people in on the fun of your idol.)

There are many other questions that can be asked in the idol design phase.  The above are only offered as samples.  The main criteria for a component of idol design is that it contain a personal pronoun like, me, mine, myself, I, etc.  In the end...and the beginning, it's very important that it be about you.

In the old days, step one would be selecting construction materials.  Now however, thanks to the material nature of society, omnipresent media and in the west anyway, the ubiquitous nature of illusionary wealth, idols can take any number of forms or even be completely virtual.  Yes, that's right.  You can even build software idols.

Once you've selected the media in which your idol is to be rendered and have a good grip on what it's supposed to do, you can begin construction.  This is really the wonderful part because often little more is needed than the selection process noted above to begin the AIP (Automatic Idol Process - more on this technical process in another article segment).

Let me just pick out some popular modern idols as examples for purpose of illustration.  While your particular DIY idol might look like one or more these to the point of being indistinguishable, the excruciating wonder of  relationship with an idol (part of the AIP process mentioned above) is always absolutely as unique as you are.  No one but you can share the full wonder of it; you are alone in it; alone, alone, alone.  But that's the way it's supposed to be because it was always about you, wasn't it?

I'll close this first installment with examples of a couple popular idol designs, how to get started, and how these help us.

1. Money - This one is pretty easy.  The construction phase is limited to getting a big pile of it.  Make sure you don't give any of it away for any reason.  This is because things like generosity, investment or sharing will lessen the size of your idol making it smaller and less helpful...and that would totally suck.  The reason that would suck is because our money idol keeps bad things from happening to us, and we all hate bad things that happen to us.   
2. Stuff - This is like money but a little different  The construction phase is the same; get a big pile of stuff.  The maintenance (i.e. don't let any stuff get away) is also the same.  Actually, it is very much like the money idol except that its usually bigger, always messier, rots differently and has a different tax liability.  We like this one for the same reason we like money.  We think it keeps bad things away.  I actually have a small one of these in my workshop.  It's everywhere.  That way, if I'm working on something and I need a part or a tool, I have it right there where I need it.  I don't have to drive someplace to get what I need...that would be horrible.  I'll say with a degree of pride that my idol is doing so well, that is there's so much stuff, that I sometimes can't find what I need at the time.  Of course, that too sucks but usually the idol coughs it up sooner or later.  Usually the coughing up comes after I've gone through the SIC (Stuff Idol Ceremony) of going to the store and getting (again) another the thing I need.  And when all that's over, my idol is actually bigger because now I've two partially used POCs (i.e. pieces of crap - official name for a Stuff Idol component).  Thank you ceremony.  Thank you Stuff Idol.  Thank you me.

That's all that space and attention span allow for today.  Next time we'll delve into virtual idols. 

Thanks, Wormwood Jr.  Idol Contractor and Consultant